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Finding the One

Finding the One

I’m 37 years old. Most people my age have their life together. They’ve been living their life for many years. I just started living mine five months ago. In the last five months I’ve realized so many things. I realized how much I love my husband and how much he truly loves me. It’s such a strange feeling to have someone not only accept me exactly as I am but to love all the quirky things I do. Someone who encourages me to be as quirky as I want to be. It’s very weird.  My entire life I have been the square peg trying to fit into the round hole. And suddenly I don’t have to fit into the round hole. I don’t have to fit anywhere. I can be just the way I want to be and that is ok. There will be people who love me the way I...

Muslim Girls Being Led Off In Chains: False

Muslim Girls Being Led Off In Chains: False

I saw this image posted about muslim girls being led off in chains to be forcibly married in an article on Facebook   There are so many things incorrect in this article I barely know where to begin. Whenever I see these things I always feel a duty to explain them. Because it gives such a distorted view of Islam. A religion which is truly beautiful and empowering especially towards women. But unfortunately the only things that get shown in the media are incorrect, false, misleading, or outright lies. I don’t really blame the media. They’re just reiterating what they see. I hope people who have seen this article somehow find my blog and come to gain just a little understanding of the truth behind all of this. First I’ll start with the...

Mental Illness is NOT A Get Out of Jail Free Card

I’m so pissed off right now. I just watched a video on Youtube about dating violence. The video is below if you want to watch it. In the video two highschool sweethearts break up. Both are over 18. A month after graduating, the guy kills the girl. He claims he was mentally ill and therefore not accountable for his crime. This enrages me beyond words. Doing something ONCE is not mental illness. Being depressed isn’t even what I would call mental illness. Every single person on this planet gets depressed occasionally. Or has moments where they’re not themselves. That doesn’t mean they are not accountable for their actions during that time. And it certainly does not mean they are in the throes of a psychotic break from reality.  If...

Being Healthy Being Whole

It’s been a really long time since I posted anything. Not because I had nothing to post. I don’t know why I left the blogsphere. Things seemed so chaotic. Even though the chaos was mainly in my head. I”ve spent the last year working very hard on getting healthy; physically, mentally, and spiritually. Working hard on being able to accept myself as I am. Even though I pretty much break every preconceived notion a person could have just by looking at me. I recently started running and think it’s just fabulous. Something I never imagined I’d ever say. Things are both good and on hold at the moment. I don’t know where this journey I seem to be on will end. Right now all I know is I want to be healthy and...

Not a New Year’s Resolution

When 2013 began, I had no idea how it would end. I wasn’t even sure if I’d live to see its end. A lot has happened in the last twelve months. Most of it I didn’t plan. The rest of it I’m not sure how it will end. I learned a long time ago to not make resolutions. Or plans. But for 2014 I do have one wish. One hope.  If I get nothing this year except that one wish, I will be grateful. I make no plans for 2014. No idea how it will end or where I will be. Like every year I’ll go with the flow. Ride its wave to wherever it takes me. I will survive. And some day I will...

Chasing the White Rabbit

Chasing the White Rabbit

I have never done LSD. But I’m pretty sure at this moment I have an idea what it feels like to trip acid. For the last four or five hours I’ve been sitting here watching my door bend and move like it was in a funhouse mirror. Sometimes it appears as if it’s really really close and other times I sit here and watch it as it slinks out into the hall. I have no fucking clue what it means either. All I know is that I feel like I’m on a carnival ride  and someone forgot to tell me. I’m use to hearing things others don’t hear. Seeing things others don’t see but this is new even for me. I know I’ve been working up a mania for the last few weeks. I have no idea if this is related. Or not. All I know is my door is apparently...

Bipolar, Stuff, Writing, & Things

Bipolar, Stuff, Writing, & Things

So it’s been a bit since I wrote anything here. To be honest, it wasn’t that I didn’t have anything to say. It was that I got into my own head. Which is never a good thing with me. When I started this blog, it was just suppose to be a place for me to let out all the thoughts in my head. But somehow I got the idea that I could ONLY write about bipolar. But that’s not me. Yes I have bipolar. Yes it has fucked up my life beyond explanation. BUT I’m working on fixing that. I’m building new bridges and a part of me just doesn’t want to look back. Doesn’t want to go back to the dark place I was in just a few short years ago. So I just stopped writing. Lately though, the writing bug has been biting me in the ass, and...