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Rambling Because Sunday

I’ve been feeling super antsy lately. Not sure why. Just do. I’ve written at least twenty blog posts. All of which are still in draft status. None of which will probably ever be posted but they’re there because I’m neurotic like that. I always wonder how people look at me and aren’t able to see the crazy. On the surface, and outwardly I realize I’m pretty high functioning. Not just high functioning for a crazy person but for a sane person. I hold everything and everyone around me together. I ensure they all have their needs and wants met. I budget. [ ... ]

Not Treated Like a Woman

Don’t know why. Just had some thoughts bouncing around my noggin’. Since I haven’t written anything here in months of Sundays I thought why not? The last couple days I’ve read quite a few articles written by women about the unequal treatment of women in the workplace or society in general. The gist of the articles was when in a group where the majority are  men, the thoughts and ideas of women are overlooked, unheard, and/or unwelcome. That a woman can make a suggestion and it will be ignored. But a few minutes later a man can make the exact [ ... ]

Purge

Today I just really need to purge. I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster the last few weeks. I really just want to scream or shout or stomp my feet. I feel so frustrated. I really just need to let things go. Things that are beyond my control. Things I can’t change. No matter how much I wish I could change them; I can’t. I need to accept. But it’s hard. To let go. To accept some things, no matter how much you want them. No matter how beneficial it is for others. No matter how right you are; you just have to let [ ... ]

How Anniversaries Should Be

Seven years ago today, for whatever reason I still don’t understand, my husband married me. All the while knowing I was batshit insane. And today after seven years, we’re still together. He’s still my rock. Keeping me grounding, moving forward, never looking back. I still don’t know how he does up. Put up with me and my ever changing moods, but he does. - So how exactly did we celebrate this achievement? Seven years together? Good times and bad? We didn’t. We totally forgot. It was literally 10 pm on Jan 4th. In the midst of a conversation, we were remembering [ ... ]

Obligatory New Year’s Post

New Year. New Start. Yada yada. I didn’t make any real resolutions this year. Yes I’d like to lose the last 50 lbs in 2015; having lost 75 in 2014. I also set a goal to run 1000 miles in 2015. I did 800ish in 2014 so that seems like a reasonable upgrade. The biggest thing I plan on doing for 2015 is to make more me time. I tend to forget about myself. I worry about others always. First and foremost. I feel guilty whenever I do anything for myself. Even buying new underwear just because I thought they were [ ... ]

It’s Their Job

I’ve been reading a lot lately about battered women getting sent to jail because their children were harmed by their boyfriend, husband, abuser. Apparently this seems to get people all fired up. As if the fact, these women were “battered” somehow negates them from protecting their children. My mother was a battered woman. I’ve seen my father beat her in our front yard until she could no longer stand up. I’ve seen him scream at her, call her names. Belittle her. I’ve seen her hit him in the head with a cast iron skillet and then call his father to come [ ... ]

Whispers

In the silent moments. The ones where you wiggle your toes and scrunch your nose. The moments in between the inhales and exhales of life.  Not every person gets to know those moments. They are pure and rare and precious. I live in those moments every day. Never unaware the world continues to turn and spin and push forward through space and time. Hurtling faster and faster while I wait. Some days I’m not sure what I’m waiting for any longer. I just know I’m waiting. Hoping. Breathing. In. Then out. That is what I do. For now. In the silent moments. [ ... ]

What an Army Vet Taught Me Today

Today I had a very interesting experience. It made my heart smile. With all of the things going on in the world, I often wonder what do people think when they see me walk by. I am very obviously Muslim. And just by looking at me you would not know I was American. I do look Arab until you hear my Southern drawl that is. I am always very conscious of my actions in public. I am never rude, even when people are rude to me. I implore the “kill them with kindness” rule because I am American, because I [ ... ]

Finding the One

I’m 37 years old. Most people my age have their life together. They’ve been living their life for many years. I just started living mine five months ago. In the last five months I’ve realized so many things. I realized how much I love my husband and how much he truly loves me. It’s such a strange feeling to have someone not only accept me exactly as I am but to love all the quirky things I do. Someone who encourages me to be as quirky as I want to be. It’s very weird.  My entire life I have been the square [ ... ]

Muslim Girls Being Led Off In Chains: False

I saw this image posted about muslim girls being led off in chains to be forcibly married in an article on Facebook   There are so many things incorrect in this article I barely know where to begin. Whenever I see these things I always feel a duty to explain them. Because it gives such a distorted view of Islam. A religion which is truly beautiful and empowering especially towards women. But unfortunately the only things that get shown in the media are incorrect, false, misleading, or outright lies. I don’t really blame the media. They’re just reiterating what they see. [ ... ]